


The Internal Verities

by Collaberal Damage (collaborational)



Category: Among Us (Video Game)
Genre: Ableism, As in... the entire game is crack And Yet Here I Am, Crack Treated Seriously, Gaslighting, Gen, Not a typical round of Among Us, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Psychosis, Slow Burn, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:14:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26640505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/collaborational/pseuds/Collaberal%20Damage
Summary: The outpost on Polus was abandoned for good reason - the planetoid is the origin of the parasite that's infiltrated many a MIRA ship. Now that it's finally been uprooted, MIRA's deemed it safe for a new crew to return to the outpost, as long as they keep a vigilant eye out for the creatures that are able to possess crewmen and wipe out an entire mission with little effort.The second mate of the Skeld, codename Red, thinks returning to this place is a very, very terrible idea. Who knows what could be lurking around the corners? And does one truly need to be an impostor to tear apart a crew?
Relationships: Other Relationship Tags to Be Added
Comments: 32
Kudos: 92





	1. get the grease

**Author's Note:**

> Just shamelessly inserts my OCs into this universe like I do every other but I actually have a fucking plan this time

Polus, as MIRA had dubbed the planetoid, was quiet as could be, the only sound the occasional whistle of wind as it drifted between empty buildings and through chain link fence. The outpost was shrouded in darkness, the only light source the magma of the open cavern it sat on the lip of. The molten rock bubbled and oozed ominously, adding a sense of impending danger to the already sinister scene.

All was still until a rumble began to emit from the sky. The clouds parted to reveal the graceless descent of a rather shoddy spaceship, roaring and rattling to the surface below. As it hovered closer to the ground, a cloud of dust and debris was kicked up every which way, disturbing the snow that drifted through the air.

The great machine rumbled a few moments more when it touched down heavily upon Polus, then mercifully fell silent. A moment passed, then great floodlights switched on, illuminating the abandoned outpost and showcasing its disrepair.

The last crew had abandoned it months and months ago, frightened off by an insurgence of the local fauna that had proceeded to trouble countless MIRA missions until not too long ago. After some argument at HQ, the planetoid was deemed safe to return to, albeit with far more caution than the astronauts that initially established the outpost.

The outer door of the junker of a ship whined and clanked open, dropping down with a mighty _thud_ that sent fallen snow spraying back into the air. A single figure, clad in a bulky space suit, clomped its way down the ramp with hands on its hips, glancing back and forth.

"Hm," it mused, folding its arms thoughtfully. "I do believe we have our work cut out for us."

Another figure trailed after it, far taller and much more hesitant with its strides, but dressed in a similar suit. "I don't know, Captain," it responded, "I don't think th--"

The first one laughed melodically, nudging the second one in the side encouragingly. "I've told you, you don't need to call me that! Don't be such a worrywart; with eight of us, we should get this place whipped into shape in no time!"

"But the--"

A third figure came out of the ship to join the first two, hands held behind its back. "MIRA has done plenty of research on the incidents involving Polus's inhabitants. Trust me, we'll know what to look for."

"And what _do_ we know about them?" the second figure protested nervously. "Other than that they're _quite_ good at looking like a human and have an unquenchable bloodthir--"

"You're being irrational, Red," the third figure said, at the same time the captain chirped, "what did I just say about worrying!"

The captain pressed a glove to its helmet and tittered. "Ah, didn't mean to interrupt you there-- but as I was saying, we need to get started! Where's everyone else? It's in bad form for them to be late..."

"You told everyone we'd be orbiting the planetoid a while before landing to let them get some re--"

"I didn't say anything of the sort!" The captain sounded surprised. "Are you sure you didn't get mixed up there? Well, if you did, then everyone _else_ likely did, too!"

Red shrank away and mumbled an apology. The third figure inclined its head slightly, but said not a word.

"Well, accidents happen, I suppose," the captain sighed, shaking its head. "I can trust you to go wake the others, then?"

Red gave a start, and nodded jerkily before turning on its heel and rushing back up the ramp.

The third figure watched it go. "Cyan," it said, "I'm _certain_ you told everyone to get some rest so we would be able to start with a good night's sleep under our belts, so to say."

Cyan hummed. "No, no, I'm pretty sure I told you all we needed to get started as soon as possible... perhaps you're confusing that with yesterday's maintenance announcement."

The figure hunched its shoulders slightly. "...if you say so, Cyan."

"My dear, I don't mean to be rude, but a little more respect than codename would be appreciated."

"...yes, Captain."

Red was quick on its feet as it skittered down the halls of the Skeld, boots clanging against the metal flooring. It wasn't long before it reached the cafeteria, where everyone else was dozing. Red's crewmates were scattered about, wrapped in blankets and out of their gear, some resting on the floor, some snoozing on benches, and one even asleep on a table.

"Alright, everyone up! We're here!"

"Huh?"

"Wh... that can't be right..."

"Shit, did I oversleep?"

A quiet mess of confused grumbling filled the room as the crew roused themselves, in varying states of disarray. One heavyset crewmate fumbled for its glasses, and another petite one hastily raked its fingers through its hair.

"Hurry, now, we can't leave the captain waiting!" Red tapped its foot worriedly, head jerking back and forth. "We all went and forgot, from the look of it...!"

"I'm goin', I'm goin'...!"

"I _swear_ he keeps changing the schedule on us..."

"One of these days I'm gonna shove his helmet where the sun don't shine..."

"Technically, there's no sun shining here--"

"And you're next, smart-ass!"

Thankfully, the groggy crew was quick to pull themselves together, and soon five fully-suited astronauts were standing before Red in varying states of temper. Pink and Lime were chipper as ever, White and Orange stood at begrudging attention, and poor Green looked ready to topple over and go back to sleep.

"Right then, off we go," Red said, and motioned them to follow with a sharp wave of its hand. Instead of a single file line, they trotted along after it in a misshapen clump, something it had come to expect after spending months with them all in a cramped space.

Cyan and Purple were still waiting for them as they all exited, and the captain spread its arms wide. "There you all are! Better late than never, right?"

A jumble of mixed responses.

Cyan seemed undeterred. "That's the spirit! Let's get to work, shall we?"

A slightly more positive response.

As everyone plodded down the ramp, Red stayed at the back to ensure there were no stragglers. Once the clunk of metal was replaced with the crunch of snow, Cyan led them all into the outpost proper.

"Pink, Green, get started fixing up the main power. Once that's up, White, check the O2 status. Lime, see what data you can recover from the laboratory. Purple, same for security. Orange, take stock of what's left in storage. Red, with me to communications."

Everyone scattered in different directions as soon as Cyan finished speaking. It nodded proudly, then turned to Red, beckoning it along. 

"Come now, we don't have all day!"

Red followed along behind Cyan, glancing left and right as they traversed further into the outpost. "Do they... know where they're going...?"

"Heavens, no. Communications aren't up yet, so that's where we come in. Once that's on, their maps will be up and running, so quickly now!"

Red had no time to question the logic of the statement as it hurried along behind Cyan. The quicker they both got things running, the quicker everyone else could wrap up, right?

Of course, as they wrenched open the door to the communications building, they were greeted with complete darkness.

"Mm... perhaps I should've sent someone a bit less _slow_ to get the power handled..."

Red bristled a little. Fond as it was of the captain, that rubbed it the wrong way. "Pink and Green aren't _thick,_ Captain," it began.

Before it could say anything more, Cyan turned to look at it almost accusingly. "Now, I never said anything like that, don't put words in my mouth!" it huffed. "I only mean they're a little slow in the physical sense. Orange and Lime are much lighter on their feet, see?"

Red felt embarrassment color its cheeks, hidden behind its visor. "R-Right. I... I apologize, Captain..."

"Really, says more about your thought process than it does mine," Cyan sighed, and before Red could reply, the lights suddenly blinked on. Both of them winced.

Cyan recovered first with a shake of its head. "Ah... hah, there we go! Looks like they figured it out; good on them. Red, would you--?"

Red pulled its hands from its visor and hurried over to the booting communications computer. "On it, Captain."

"I thought I told you we're far too close for that sort of naming. You've been rather forgetful as of late, haven't you... I worry about you sometimes, you know?"

"I'm... I'm trying," came Red's weak, ashamed reply. 

"You're my first mate, after all, I'd hate for you to fall behind! It'd reflect poorly on the both of us."

"Wouldn't want that... alright, up and running."

Cyan patted Red on the back, making it flinch. "Goodness," the captain observed, "you're wound like a spring! What's got you all jumpy?"

"Well... hard not to think about what made the old crew ditch," its first mate answered. "I heard only one came back alive from it all."

"Relax," Cyan told it. "We've got double their numbers and a lot more knowledge of what we're getting ourselves into. Don't get yourself worked up."

Instead of trying to explain once again that it was medically impossible to prevent its paranoia, Red simply said, "I try not to."

"Now, let's go make sure nobody's gone and gotten themselves lost, yeah?"

As the duo stepped back outside, Red spied a figure coming towards them. It took a large step back, but Cyan was undisturbed as it drew closer.

"Ah, Purple, anything of note?"

Purple halted in front of them both, somehow exuding a grim energy despite its face being obscured. "I was looking through the camera log, Captain... managed to find a couple things I thought you'd like to see."

Cyan nodded. "Lead the way, then."

Was it just Red, or was the cold seeping through its suit? It pressed its arms to its chest as it followed the two smaller figures to the security office, trying to fight off the foreboding chill.

Purple sat itself down at the desk. "This was from not long before the power ran down," it said, gesturing to the feed. On the screen was a still image of a grey, spindly... thing. It reminded Red of a spider. It shuddered.

"Where was this?" Cyan asked simply, voice level.

"Just outside the office on the east side," Purple replied, equally calm. "But this was a long while before we came here. There's no guarantee it's hanging around anymore."

"Pardon," Red piped up, "But what the _hell--"_

"It's what everyone's agreed to call the _impostor parasite,"_ Purple responded before it could finish.

Red's mouth went dry.

"It... that...?"

"It matches other footage we've recovered of it," it continued, as though it hadn't heard Red. "It's able to hijack the human body through as of yet unknown means. The only ways to kill these things that we know of are by killing its host."

Red felt dizzy. It took a step away from the computer. The thought of that thing sneaking up to it while it fiddled with wires or took readings, worming its way through chinks in its suit, infiltrating its body--

"--you're looking faint, can you hear me? Hello?" Cyan was waving a hand in front of Red's face.

Red jolted. "Right! Yeah!"

Purple looked unimpressed. "If we see one or think we see one, we're meant to sound the alarm. Do you know where the emergency button is located?"

There should really be more than one, Red thought. "The... meeting room? In the main off--"

"Yes. It's not a toy, so don't call if you're not sure it's an emergency."

Well, that didn't help its worries in the slightest. Red's mind had a tendency to play tricks on it; it was a wonder it had been selected for such a mission at all. What if it panicked and pressed the button when nothing was really wrong? Would everyone be irritated at it? Maybe even suspect it of sabotage?

"You're freaking out again, aren't you?" Cyan asked. "You really need to get a grip. Whatever you're thinking now, you're being ridiculous, you know that, right?"

"...I know."

"Alright, thanks for telling us, Purple. I'll tell everyone to keep a lookout."

Red backed away from the computer as Purple pulled up more footage. "Er, Captain? Why don't I go do a round while you keep looking?"

"Oh, alright then! Stay safe, would you?"

Red gulped and quickly strode out into the snow again. It was coming down a little heavier now, and it took deep breaths to calm itself. Now was not the time for a panic attack, it would only embarrass itself and inconvenience everyone else. It had made it this far out dealing with psychosis. One little spider was _not_ going to give it a breakdown.

One little spider... that could take control of it or any of its crewmates, with murderous intent and no known ability to separate parasite from host--

Red held its head, breath coming faster and fogging the glass of its helmet. What if it had already come while it and Cyan were distracted? What if someone had already been infected? What if it had already gone and attacked somebody? What if Red was doomed to stumble across a pile of fresh corpses and--

"H-Hey, man, you... you good?"

A scream clawed desperately at Red's throat, gulped down at the last second. The lumbering form of Green, taller even than its lanky frame, loomed over it, and all it could think about was how easily its crewmate could snap it in two.

"You... you were standing here and, uh, breathing pretty heavy, thought I should... maybe check in?" Green rambled awkwardly, toeing at the snow. "Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you, or anything, I just-- yeah. Uh, you're good, right? Did... something happen?"

Red quickly shook its head. "Nothing happened," it said, trying to convince itself more than its crewmate. "I'm being irrational."

"Felt that," Green mumbled. "I, uh... I'm here if you need anything, I guess? Dunno how good I'd be at helping, but... yeah. Uh."

Then it abruptly slapped its helmet. "Shit. Wires. Fuck, didn't mean to swear. _Shit._ Sorry, sir. Okay, I'm-- I'm gonna go." It jabbed a thumb over its shoulder. "Over there. And fix the wiring. And probably other stuff. Right. Sorry."

Well, Red thought, watching it stumble off, at least that had taken its mind off things a little.

After that confusing encounter, Red found itself checking the map to keep itself on course as it shuffled towards the lab. Lime was the one stationed there, right?

It had remembered correctly, as it turned out, but Lime wasn't alone. Both it and Orange, apparently finished with storage, were speaking animatedly, but they sputtered to a halt and stood at attention when Red stepped in.

"Er." It glanced between the two, who were making valiant efforts to avoid eye contact with the first mate and each other. "Anything odd to report?"

"No sir."

"Nope!"

"Right. Er. Be vigilant," Red mumbled, waving them off and stepping out feeling as though it had stumbled across something it wasn't meant to see.

Moving along, it saw Orange wasn't the only one that had sought out company. Red entered the office building to find Pink trying to replace the jug on top of the water cooler as White stood off to one side, fidgeting with its gloves and looking away. Red nodded at them both in greeting.

"Everything doing well over here?"

White continued to fidget. "In theory, if he would just--"

Pink fumbled the cooler and sent water splashing everywhere. Red and White both jumped back.

"Ah, my bad... I'll go get another!"

"Just leave it! It's practically useless, we have bottled water!"

"But it's convenient like this!"

"It's an _in_ convenience, we have to take our helmets off to drink it, and for that the door must be locked, and--"

Right. They were fine. Red passed them and entered the meeting room to wait.

It was grateful it wasn't left alone with its thoughts too long. Lime and Orange filtered in after a few minutes, and the awkward atmosphere was preferable to a panicky one.

"...so," Lime began. "Come here often?" It started snorting at its own joke. Red gave it a sympathy wheeze of laughter. 

Orange made an exaggerated motion that implied rolling its eyes. "That was barely even funny."

"It was _kinda_ funny!"

"It was like, bad funny."

"So you admit it was funny."

Orange had nothing to say to that, and Red held back a snort. The crew always seemed far more relaxed around it than they did around Cyan... perhaps because they took their captain more seriously than their second in command. It couldn't really fault any of them for it; Red had never been a very confident or imposing person.

"Penny for your thoughts, Red?" Lime asked, then started snorting again, slapping the table.

Case in point.

White entered next, followed by a soaked Pink. They both took their seats at the table.

"We're waiting on Cyan, Purple, and Green," White announced.

"Thank you, Master of the Obvious," Orange replied, leaning on one hand. Lime snorted harder.

White sputtered a moment, then snapped, "actually, it would be Mistress, thank you."

Orange started to chuckle. "That's the best comeback you got?"

"Aw, come on, lay off them," Pink said gently. "I think it's important to keep up like that. Heck, I wouldn't have known who we were missing, I'm terrible at counting."

"Then how did you become an astronaut?" White asked, sounding genuinely curious. That got laughs from Orange and Lime, while Pink wilted, looking wounded.

"I can count backwards from ten, guess they figured that was good enough..."

"Why would that be good enough? You need to make a lot of complex calculations for-- _what is so funny--"_

Like a plug had been pulled, every voice seemed to die in an instant. A flash of fear made itself known in Red's stomach, and it glanced over to the door--

Ah. It was only Cyan. Amazing how the captain could command the respect of everyone in the room like that. It stepped in, followed closely by Purple, and both took their seats.

"We're waiting on Green, then? Has anyone seen Green?"

"Doing wires, last I saw," Pink answered. "I stopped to help N-- White with the weather nodes."

"I could have done it myself," White said sternly. 

"Well, nobody should be out alone right now, Pink," Cyan said, shaking its head in disappointment. "You should know better than to abandon a crewmate in a place like this."

A ripple of confusion spread through the room.

"Captain," Orange piped up, "you were fine sending half of us off on our own earlier..."

Cyan set one hand on the table. The movement wasn't sudden or loud, but most present jumped anyway. "Everybody should be working in pairs! I thought we were all plenty aware that this planetoid is the only known origin of the impostor parasite?"

A grim silence settled over them all.

It felt like an eternity before Cyan spoke again. "Two of you need to go out and find Green and go to the medbay for a scan. Any volunteers?"

Pink's hand immediately shot up - it must have felt guilty about abandoning its crewmate - followed hesitantly by White's - perhaps it felt partially responsible?

Cyan sighed in disappointment as they left. "Anything to share, Orange, Lime?"

Lime quickly shook its head. "N-Nothing anomalous, sir! Lab equipment is a little outdated, but still perfectly functional!"

"The storage is still well-stocked, Captain," Orange continued. "Nothing seems out of place."

"Good." Cyan folded its hands together. "Can we all _please_ be more mindful of what we're doing? There's a threat out there. I want us all to use the buddy system, understood? I shouldn't have to repeat myself."

A weak chorus of affirmation echoed through the room.

"Good to hear. Once those three come back, let's do another round and make sure we didn't miss anything."

Another, weaker affirmative.

Red took a look at its crewmates. They'd been so rowdy only moments before, and now they'd fallen into line just like that.

Something told it that maybe that was a little creepy.

It told that something to stop making it so paranoid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please. tell me what you think of the characters i am on my knees begging


	2. as far as i can throw you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i start actually naming the dudes here so fair warning. also there's some very vaguely implied suicidal ideation in this chapter, skip from "he did it again on purpose" to "We don't want anything to happen to you, alright?" if you want to avoid it.

MIRA had implemented a strict policy within the last year about only using codenames or titles to refer to crewmates. The reason, of course, was the insurgence of the impostor parasite - not only did it make crewmates easier to identify at a glance with color-coding, it prevented too much attachment which could prove to be deadly.

MIRA employees were only human, and thus tended to ignore this rule.

Red liked to think itself a responsible person, but the more time it spent on the Skeld, and now Polus, the more awkward it felt to only know these people by colors. It felt out of the loop. Most of the other crewmates seemed to know each other or have some other connection compared to it and Cyan and Purple. Even its own existing connection with Cyan felt irrelevant, as Cyan was as determined to follow the rules as Red.

It wouldn't spoil everyone else's fun; Red was no snitch. But it wouldn't be participating either, or so it told itself. It always seemed to get dragged into the crew's antics sooner or later, much to Cyan's distaste.

The first time really wasn't its fault. It had been taking a look at the circuitry Pink and Green had hastily repaired, assessing the bald, frostbitten wires and deciding which ones needed to be replaced, when a voice behind it made it jump.

"You need any help, buddy-- oh!!"

It had forgotten Pink had accompanied it. Red's startle had sent its left hand plunging into the delicate circuitry, snapping wires and sending a jolt of electricity up its arm that made its teeth rattle. Red yelped and managed to hurl itself away, landing ass-first in the snow.

Pink bent over it, grabbing its shoulders. "Are you alright? I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to spook you, come on, let's get you checked up--"

"Th-Th-The wire," Red stuttered, dazed.

"Forget the wires, we need to make sure you're okay!" Pink grabbed Red's armpits and hoisted it up. "Can you stand?"

Wobbly legs buckled beneath it, and Pink adjusted its grip, slinging Red's good arm over its shoulder. "Come on, medbay isn't too far from here, I think Nin's running diagnostics--"

"Who?"

Pink flinched. "I-- oops, I mean White, I'm not supposed to know their name, am I, sorry sir--"

Red sighed. "Don't worry about it, Pink."

They reached the lab in a few moments, and Pink pounded on the closed door. "I accidentally made Red electrocute himself!" it called loudly. 

A couple moments passed before it opened with a hiss of depressurizing air. Even through its helmet, White was giving Pink a Look. Red knew how to recognize it; it itself had perfected said Look for use on its rowdy younger siblings. 

"Honestly, Pink, I don't know how you manage to get yourself into these things," White huffed, standing back to allow the pair entry. Once Pink brought it indoors, White closed the entryway again.

"Set him down, have him remove his outer suit so I can inspect the damage."

"You heard them, bud," Pink said lowly, parking Red in a sitting position on the end of one of the gurneys.

Red wasn't a fan of removing its suit. It felt it had a somewhat unsettling appearance - skinny as a rail, unusually tall, sharp in places it shouldn't be. But White, taking off its gloves, didn't seem perturbed in the slightest. 

"Mm. Any xenobiology in your family tree?"

Red flushed. "Er... my great-grandfather on my father'ss sside," it said, wincing as the words whistled through sharp teeth. The accursed things always made it hiss on "S" sounds. "It'ss not asss noticceable on mosst of my ssiblingss."

"Any other medical conditions I should know about?"

"Oculocutaneouss albinissm and... er, I don't know if it'ss relevant, but bipolar pssychossiss."

"And where was it you were electrocuted?"

"Er, my left hand? It went up my arm."

White took its hand, paying no extra heed to the pointed nails. "Any previous history of injury?"

"Broke thiss arm falling out of a tree when I wass nine."

White pushed up its sleeve, examining the pale skin. "Alright, for safety's sake, tell me your name, age, and where we are right now."

"Sseth Wingsstrom, twenty-eight, and we're in the medical bay of the Poluss outposst."

White nodded, and squeezed Seth's arm firmly. "Any residual pain?"

"Er... a little itchy, little ssore, but nothing too bad."

"You'll be fine," White concluded, stepping away.

Pink let out a cheer. "Doctor White does it again!"

"My doctorate is in archaeology, Pink, it's irrelevant to my medical expertise--"

"It... it was a joke."

"O-Oh." White shuffled awkwardly.

Pink trudged over to its much smaller crewmate and patted its helmet gently. "Don't get too worked up about it."

"...thank you."

Seth drummed his fingers against the gurney, feeling as though he was intruding upon something private. "Er... am I free to go, then?"

"I think you should lie down for a few minutes," Pink told him. "Even if you're fine, that was still a shock to your system."

White bit back a little giggle. "Shock," it repeated.

Pink paused, then started chuckling. "Shucks, didn't even mean that one."

Seth rolled his eyes, but found himself smiling regardless.

"Anyway, you shouldn't overwork yourself! My own kid's a workaholic, can't tell you how many times I've seen them hunched over a cup of coffee looking like they wanna hurt whoever talks to them. I once found them passed clean out on the floor of their room with their workspace on fire..." Pink tilted its head, looking concerned. "I worry about them, I really do. They've been doing a little better since then, but the point is, you need to watch yourself and take breaks, okay?"

It did make a good point. "Ssomeone sstill needss to go fixx the wiring I went and messsed up," Seth pointed out, lying back on the gurney.

Pink jumped. "Aw, shoot, I forgot about that, I'll go see if I can find Pi or Friday." Before Seth could question who either of those two were, it was shoving its helmet on and rushing into the decontamination chamber.

"We're supposed to be using the buddy system," White called after it.

"Yeah! That's why I'm going to find a buddy!"

"Be careful in the meantime."

"I will!"

White turned back to Seth. "Should I be concerned about him?"

"Probably," Seth answered honestly.

"On the one hand, he shouldn't be alone. On the other hand, _you_ shouldn't be alone."

Seth thought a moment. "You go after him, White," he decided. "Thesse doorss will sstay clossed until ssomebody elsse comess in, sso I'll be ssafe until I have a buddy."

"Good thinking. I can see why Cyan trusts you." White gave him a little nod before putting its gloves back on and hurrying after Pink. 

As Seth settled down onto his gurney again, alone in the medbay, it only then occurred to him that he'd just given them both his name.

A few weeks into the restoration of the outpost, he did it again on purpose.

As he passed by the temperature gauge of the magma pit that day, he noted Purple was adjusting the reader, completely oblivious to its partner Green sitting on the edge of the pit. It was staring down into the stream of molten rock below, legs dangling and hands on its thighs.

"What are you DOING?" he shrieked before he could stop himself, making both of them stiffen and turn to him.

Purple looked annoyed. "My... job."

Green jumped to its feet and scrambled away from the edge. "Sorry, sir, I'll get back to work, sir--"

"What do you-- _you could have fallen in, Green!"_

Purple finally cast a glance at its partner. "Oh," it said, almost flatly. "When I tell you to stand guard, don't put yourself somewhere potentially deadly, Green."

Green was stammering apologies as it lurched away from the magma pit, wringing its hands together nervously. Seth must have really rattled it. Well, good, part of his brain told him, Green needed a healthy fear of such places.

The other part of his brain was consuming him with guilt. He hadn't meant to frighten them so badly, and he was very lucky Green hadn't pitched forwards...

"Look, I... I wass too harsh there," he said once Green had come close enough.

"What? No, no no no, you were right, I was being a total dumbass, you should've--"

"I shouldn't have yelled. I'm ssorry." He hesitated, then, "What'ss your name?"

"Fr-- w-wait, no, trick question, we're not supposed to say that--"

"It'ss alright. You're not in trouble. I'm Sseth." He grasped one of Green's gloved hands between his own. "Tell me your name."

"It's, uh, Friday, sir. Sawyer, I mean. No, I meant. Friday Sawyer, that's my name, full name, first and last, _God,_ I fucked that up, _shit."_

With a glance to Purple, who gave them both a flat stare before returning to work, he continued. "Friday, deep breathss. Why'd you ssit down there instead of ssomewhere elsse?"

"I... I dunno, sir." She was avoiding eye contact, sounding choked. "I just did."

"Okay. Can you promisse me to get a better look at your ssurroundings nexxt time?"

"I just-- I knew it was there, sir, I just sat down anyway."

"Friday, you need to undersstand the riskss of ssuch a..." Seth paused. "...you're a very important assset to thiss mission, do you undersstand that?"

Friday twitched. "H-Huh?"

"You're very valuable to all of uss. We don't want anything to happen to you, alright? Can you promisse to try and be a little ssafer from now on, Friday?"

He could've sworn he heard her sniffle. "Y-Yeah. Um. Okay. Am... am I in trouble, sir?"

"Abssolutely not. Keep sstanding lookout for your crewmate, alright? You're doing brilliant."

"Yeah. Uh. Okay. I-I think I can do that. Um. Sorry." Friday pulled her hand out of Seth's grip and trundled back over towards Purple. He noted with some satisfaction that she was now giving the ledge a wide berth.

Perhaps it would be beneficial if he checked in on these people on a more personal level from time to time.

Not everyone was as quick to open up to him as Friday. Whenever he tried to speak to the crew beyond routine checkups on their progress, they tended to find the fastest escape route possible, whether out of the conversation or out of his physical vicinity. 

It was puzzling. It was _worrying._ How was he supposed to keep up with everyone's wellbeing if nobody was going to talk to him?

He thought for a while that perhaps this was just a secretive bunch of people, but he was proven wrong the day he went to check O2 and picked up on two voices coming from inside the chamber. Now, he was no eavesdropper, he only happened to catch a snippet of the conversation as he approached...

"He's seriously a control freak, Pi, I can't stand it when he comes by--"

"I know, he freaks me out too, not to mention the way he talks--"

...but it was enough to fill in the common denominator in his repeated failures.

Ah.

Seth swallowed hard and tapped on the door. "Hullo?" he called.

"Shit--"

Some rustling and clunking.

"Lime and Orange, sir. We're--"

_"Do you think he--"_

_"Quiet!_ We're just making sure everything's in order here."

"Good. And how..." The question, _how are you both doing,_ died in his throat, and Seth took a step away from the door. "How iss that coming along, Orange?"

"Great. Don't worry about it." Its voice carried a tone of finality. This conversation was over.

"Right," Seth said, voice cracking. "Er. I'll leave you to it, then."

Well, it seemed as though he had his answer. The crew just plain doubted him.

It shouldn't have come as a surprise. He was no good at leadership compared to Cyan, he was awkward and forgetful and paranoid. Who would ever trust someone like him?

His stress hadn't gone unnoticed by the captain. As he finished rattling off his reports on the crew's whereabouts and wellbeing later that day, Cyan leaned on one elbow.

"Something's eating at you, I can tell. Come on, out with it."

He could never hide from Cyan. Even if he was doing something it would disapprove of, he felt he should at least vent about his worries. "I... I don't think the otherss trusst me," he mumbled, tensing self-consciously at the hiss of his words. 

Cyan started to titter, and suddenly Seth was all too aware of how ridiculous it sounded. His face burned as he waited for the captain to respond.

"Oh, you're just blowing things out of proportion again!" it gasped, once it had finally caught its breath. "Seth, dear, really, we've all spent months together! Why, you're the first mate! What's not to trust about you? You're the most vigilant person here!"

Seth picked at the cloth around his neck. "I jusst... I jusst felt..."

"Look at it this way. Even if they did distrust you... wouldn't a little distrust in this environment be healthy? Any day now, one of us could be infected by an impostor... if we all blindly trusted each other, we'd just end up dead, you see."

Seth shuddered. He didn't like to be reminded of such a scenario, hanging precariously over them all. "It'ss... well, I ssupposse..."

"It's very important to our survival that we maintain a professional distance from one another," Cyan continued, nodding to itself.

And that brought up the other thing that had been eating at Seth, the big contradiction in this whole setup. "Then... why pick me for thiss mission?"

Cyan laughed again. "There's blind trust, and then there's knowledge, Seth. A bond over a few short months can result in a rushed defense in bad faith, but we've known each other for _twenty-eight years._ I know my brother well enough to know when he's acting off, hm?"

Seth gave him a weak little chuckle. "Yeah, Raph. I guesss you do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can I just say avoiding words with S sounds in chapter 1 for Seth's dialogue was a chore and a half. i wanted to keep it a bit of a surprise and preserve the initial anonymity of the characters. I know it can be a little annoying, but I personally feel it's more immersive and emphasizes how jarring the noise can be for those that aren't familiar with his speech, as well as gives him a touch more individuality.


	3. a life half-lived

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a fair chunk of ableism in this chapter centered around psychosis. i'll put a summary of the chapter at the bottom if that's not something you want to read.

Seth knew from the moment he woke up that morning that it was going to be a bad day.

They'd been on Polus for almost four weeks now, and so far, everything had gone relatively smoothly. But even with his medication helping to regulate his mood, he was still bipolar, and he knew how to recognize the depressive weight pressing into him, working its way under his skin and into his very being, multiplying his anxieties tenfold.

He couldn't stay here. He had to go to the morning meeting before someone was forced to come get him. The thought of someone slamming his door open, furious at his tardiness, ready to chew him out, had him sitting bolt upright.

He took in his surroundings. Right. He was in the cafeteria of the Skeld, and from the look of it, the first one awake. Nobody was coming for him. It was a delusion. He needed to take deep breaths.

"Okay, Sseth," he whispered to himself, "take it eassy. Nobody'ss out to get you. You know thesse people."

A few moments passed, then he buried his face in his hands and resisted the urge to scream in frustration.

Not all of his depressive swings resulted in a psychotic episode, but it was impossible to pick out the warning signs when he was practically living in a persecutory scenario waiting to happen. Why the Hell had Raphael picked him for a mission to a planet that housed aliens that could pretend to be somebody he trusted, ones that were proven to have murderous intent?

He threw his blanket off himself, fumbling for his suit. He whispered apologies when his motions roused a couple of the lighter sleepers, quickly getting dressed and exiting the room as quietly as possible.

As expected, his brother was waiting patiently for him just outside. "What took you so long? You're quite late, it's unlike you."

"I-I am? What time iss it?"

"Past the meeting start time." Raphael shook his head. "Did you wake the others yet?"

"N-No, but Raph, I need to--"

"Well, hurry and fetch them, then! What do I pay you for?" Raph began tittering at his own joke, and before Seth knew it, he was turning around and heading back inside. His number one concern was gathering everyone for the morning meeting, of course--

He suddenly froze, halfway back to the cafeteria.

Wait.

Damn it all!

How did he _do_ that? It seemed whenever Seth spoke to his twin brother, he managed to forget whatever pressing issue was on his mind in favor of Raph's troubles. His heart was too big for his own good.

Well, he'd just bring up the issue at the meeting, then. It'd be easier that way, right? Raph usually asked if there were any objections to his plans for the day, so that was when Seth would speak up.

Plan solidified in his mind, Seth nodded to himself and continued on his way. This would work.

Probably.

On second thought, he realized as everyone filed sleepily into the meeting room roughly ten minutes later, maybe this wasn't such a great idea. The crew already had such little faith in him. What would they think if he asked for the day off? Would they resent him for shirking work? Accuse his brother of favoritism? And if he brought up his condition, well, people tended to associate _psychotic_ with things like _stalker_ and _axe murderer._ That was _not_ an image that needed to be put into anybody's head after the horrors of so many other MIRA missions.

He needed to talk to Raphael alone. He stood up from his seat. "Captain, before the meeting, could I sspeak with you?"

"I thought you already did," Raph teased, stepping out into the hall. Seth followed amidst mumbles of "why'd he have to wake us up so early?" and "getting real sick of this shit." It made his ears burn.

As soon as they were out of earshot of the others, Seth whispered, "Look, Raph, thiss iss nothing perssonal, I sswear, but I'm depresssed today, and--"

"You seem fine to me," Raphael replied airily. 

Seth sputtered a moment. "I, er, thank you, but I'm really not. Lissten, I'm worried I might have delussionss today, I don't want to freak anybody out or sslow thingss down if I have an epissode, sso I'm assking for the day off."

The captain was silent for a while, long enough that Seth began to fidget anxiously. Finally, he heaved a sigh, shaking his head.

"Seth, you understand you're the first mate, right? You have to set a good example for the others. If you ditch because you're seeing things--"

"I don't exxperiencce vissual halluccinationss--"

"--the others will start thinking they can take time off for any silly old thing, and if they all do that, this place is going to fall apart!"

"I undersstand it'ss important to work asss hard asss we can, but Raph, I'm worried I'm going to be more harm than help today--"

"How many times have I told you that stuff is all in your head--"

"Yess, that'ss how it workss, it'ss in my head, that'ss how my brain iss, I can't jusst turn it off--"

"I know you're tougher than that, Seth, you're just not trying hard enough! I put you on this mission because I knew I could trust you to apply yourself when it counted, and you're calling it quits and blaming your cowardice on your disease when I need you most!"

Seth reeled back as though he'd been struck. "I... I'm not a..."

Raphael balled his fists. "No, Seth, you're trying to back out of work today because you're afraid of what's out there. I'm not going to let you. I _know_ you are capable of facing your fears. Understood?"

Before he could answer, his brother turned on his heel and strode back into the meeting room. Seth felt his eyes prick with tears, and after another couple of seconds to register the blow to his pride, he trudged in after him.

The meeting had little energy, even without the lens of Seth's soured mood - everyone else ranged from disgruntled to downright disrespectful of their captain, replying to his precise instructions with noncommittal grunts or clipped, flippant answers. Only Pink seemed somewhat enthusiastic, and even its mood felt extremely forced. Raph had picked up on it, and he was as agitated as everyone else by the time the meeting ended. 

It was a Herculean effort for Seth to pull himself out of his chair once everyone began to disperse. He had an obligation to the crew, depressed or not.

A quiet clearing of a throat caught his attention, and he glanced down. White was standing a couple feet from him, wringing its gloves together.

"...Red," it began hesitantly. "I was sitting close to the door, and... I overheard that you have concerns about your bipolar psychosis."

Right. He'd brought that up to White when it examined him after his electrocution. He felt his face heat up. "Ccyan'ss right," he responded through gritted teeth. "I'm jusst being a coward."

"If you think you shouldn't work today--"

Did it think Seth wasn't capable of this? That he wasn't trustworthy? That he was just a victim of his own head? No, his brother was right, he needed to stop letting his cowardice rule him. He needed to take control of his situation. 

"Lissten, White. The captain knowss me better than I know mysself. If he thinkss I should work today, that'ss what I'm going to do."

White took a step back. "You sound just like Green," it murmured remorsefully. "Red-- _Wingstrom,_ you're going to end up hurting yourself if you--"

"I'm _fine,"_ he snapped, and before White could stop him, he made a beeline for the door. His partner was waiting.

He and Purple marched through the snow in silence in the direction of the laboratory. Whenever he cast a glance at it, it was staring straight ahead, focused only on the tasks they'd been directed to complete.

Part of the reason the Polus outpost had been established was to mine materials from the planetoid, and the laser-powered drill outfitted to the operation required near-constant maintenance. The two tracked snow through the locker room of the lab before entering the drill yard. It was shuddering away as usual, and Purple set about switching it off as Seth went over to the workbench to gather the tools.

The two worked in silence for a while, the only sounds the gentle whisper of wind and the clink of tools against the inner workings of the drill. The repetitive task only did so much to take Seth's mind off his anxieties, though. Why had White approached him so boldly after his crewmates tried so hard to avoid him? Had it been plotting something? Did it want him out of the way today? Was it...?

He needed to distract himself.

"Uh, y'know," he said, voice breaking the silence with a near-audible crash. It was so awkward he immediately deemed the conversation a lost cause. Purple was probably judging him right now.

The silence continued for another two minutes.

"...I know...?"

Seth dropped his screwdriver. He swore, scrambling down the stepladder to fetch it again.

"Be careful. You're going to fall from that ladder if you don't take it easy."

"Sstepladder."

Purple paused, and Seth could practically see the bewilderment on the face hidden by its helmet. "I. Okay. You're the boss."

Ah, there it was. Seth nabbed the screwdriver by the flat head, then turned it around in his hand. He straightened up and began to return to his previous position.

"...alright, I'll bite, why does it _specifically_ need to be called a stepladder."

Seth clanked his way back up the rungs. "Becausse that'ss what it iss? Look, it openss, it hass two ssidess, it can sstand without outsside ssupport, it'ss a sstepladder."

"It... it's still a kind of ladder. I don't see why you have to be so specific about it."

He bit back a wheeze of laughter. "Ah, you wouldn't undersstand..."

Purple made a quiet noise. "No, I probably wouldn't."

Well, _that_ felt kind of depressing. Seth peered down to where Purple was running through the drill's electronic diagnostics report. "...are you okay? I-- I could exxplain it if--"

Purple shook its head. "No need. It'd be a waste of our time. Besides, I... guess I'm used to being out of the loop."

That caught his attention. "...you wanna talk about it?"

It hunched its shoulders. "We should focus."

"...you're right." He abruptly recalled Raphael's disappointed expression. His brother had expectations for him. Without another word, he returned to work.

He wasn't sure how long it was before Purple spoke again.

"The sky's so different here."

Seth blinked and looked at his partner, then craned his neck to gaze heavenward. "I wouldn't know," he admitted. "Never did much sstargazing, mysself."

"I used to dream of being up in space when I was a little girl," Purple murmured, sounding wonderstruck. "I learned all the constellations and tried to point them out to my parents... but it was always "you need to get your head out of the clouds, Pandora. You have to focus if you want to make a name for yourself." Never stopped thinking about them anyway. They were always at the back of my mind."

Seth listened to her in silence. One of his crewmates was... willingly opening up to him. Without any prompting. What was this?

"I always knew I was going to be an astronaut. The Spinellis were huge contributors to MIRA, but I wanted to get in without riding on the name of my family. I wanted to be legit. I worked as hard as I could, I forgot about everything else. And now I'm here, and it feels..."

Pandora's shoulders slumped.

"Empty. There's... There's so much I missed in my rush to get out here, Red. I was so obsessed with space I never made time for anything on Earth. Not friends, not family... I'm probably not even supposed to be telling you this."

"Mosst everyone elsse hass stopped giving a damn about the ssoccial regulationss at thiss point."

That got a weak chuckle out of her. 

Clouds were rolling in, obscuring the stars above, and snowflakes began to drift down onto the outpost. Pandora took a deep breath in and let it out with a buzz of her lips.

"I'm just as hard at work out here as I was at home. It's... it's no fun at all. It feels like I've wasted my whole life on... this. On a distant planet with people I'm not even allowed to talk to, and a stuck-up captain that--"

Seth bristled. "R-- Ccyan issn't sstuck up. He'ss got all our besst interessts at heart."

"Keep telling yourself that, Red," Pandora mumbled with a sense of finality, but that wasn't enough of an answer for Seth. He began to clamber down the ladder.

"He'ss kept uss all alive and the outposst up and running, hassn't he? I-- I don't ssee why you've all been acting sso ungrateful towardss him! Why don't you trusst him?!"

Pandora took a surprised step back as Seth's boots hit the dirt. "Hey, listen--"

"And none of you trusst me, either! What did I ever do to any of you?! I've been trying to open up, I've been trying to check in on you, even though I'm terrified of each and every one of you and the posssibility you could be lying to our faccess jusst to backsstab the resst of uss!"

"Red, you need to calm down."

"I think I've got a right to not be calm right now! Do you undersstand the ssituation we're in?! Billionss of miless from home, on a planet infessted with parassitess that could pretend to be uss, that only want to _kill uss?!"_

Pandora was against the chain link fence now as Seth paced in circles. "Red, I really think you should take a breath," she tried. 

He was taking a breath, actually. Several, rapidly. The glass of his helmet was fogging up. "We're-- we're being watched by them right thiss very ssecond!" he exclaimed, voice cracking. "One of them might've taken one of uss already, jusst biding itss time! It'ss already infiltrated our rankss! It'ss-- it'ss you, issn't it?! Your sstory wass ssuppossed to make me lower my guard, then you sstarted trying to turn me againsst Raph--"

"Red, please, there's no--"

"Don't tell me there'ss no imposstor! That'ss exxactly what an imposstor would ssay!" He was backing up, stepping around the pit in the center of the drill yard, inching towards the locker room door. "You-- you're going to kill me, and then everyone elsse, _I don't want to die--!"_

Pandora - was it truly Pandora? - tried to say something else, but then everything went dark. 

The lights were out.

"S... Ssabotage," Seth hissed out, eyes wide and gaze darting about. "Ssabotage! THERE'SS AN IMPOSSTOR!"

"It could just be a short in the wiring--"

"No, I've heard the sstoriess, the lightss going out iss _alwayss_ ssabotage! We-- I need to--!" He fumbled for the headlights on his helmet, turning to where he approximated the door to be. 

"Red, WAIT--!"

But he was already running, squeezing his eyes shut against the agony of the sudden light, illuminating his path only a foot in front of him, and he'd only gone eight paces before something passed into his field of vision--

He collided directly with another body, and with a mighty crash, he was sent to the floor of the laboratory locker room.

"AAH!"

"FUCK!"

Seth scrambled to disentangle himself from the other body - bodies? Two other voices, not one - and tried his best to choke back a scream of terror. 

"Red, is that you? What's the rush, what's going on?"

He only vaguely recognized Orange's voice. "Imposstor, ssabotage, we have to go right now--" 

"What? You-- oh, _shit."_

"Are you _sure--"_

"YES!" he screeched. "We need to go, NOW, or we're going to DIE!"

Orange and... he was pretty sure it was Pink? Orange and Pink had no further arguments, hauling him to his feet. "Where do we go?" Pink asked. "Meeting room?"

"No, no no no, the ship, Raph told uss to go to the ship if there wass an imposstor--"

"What, the captain? He never..."

"I know he told me! I _know_ he did!" Seth squeezed his eyes shut against terrified tears. "Go to the ship! Trusst me!"

With the two other astronauts half-supporting him, they shuffled out of the laboratory. Thankfully, it wasn't located too far from the Skeld, and soon they were wobbling their way up the ramp.

The two set Seth down once they reached the top. "Any idea who it was?" Orange asked, voice hushed.

"I-It might've been Purple. I don't know anymore." Even as he tried to point the finger, part of him was telling him he'd made a terrible mistake. Was he being delusional? Was this the right thing to do?

"Purple? Where is she?"

"I-- I left her in the drill yard..."

The ramp clanged loudly, and Friday and Raphael staggered into view, Friday dragging one foot behind her. "Impostor," Raphael gasped, making Orange and Pink stiffen. "Good work following protocol, Red, I'm sure Lime and White must have forgotten because otherwise they would be _up here_ by now--"

Before anyone else could respond, the ramp rattled again, and the three missing crewmates appeared, Pandora leading White and Lime upwards.

Seth's breath caught in his throat. If she was an impostor, why hadn't she just killed them when she had the chance?

"Alright, that's everyone!" Raphael barked. "On the ship! We're taking off _immediately!"_

 _"What?!"_ White squawked. "But the mission--"

"Is compromised! We have to leave!"

"It was nothing but a short circuit--"

"There's an impostor! Right, Red?" Raph turned directly to Seth, who was still sitting at the top of the ramp. "You recognize the signs, don't you?"

Seth found himself nodding, even as his head wondered otherwise. "There'ss an imposstor among uss," he croaked.

"But--" Pandora pressed her hand into the side of her helmet. "If we board, won't we be--"

"I am not standing for insubordination from _anyone_ right now! Get on, all of you!"

Raph had never raised his voice like this before. It had Seth scrambling to comply, despite the weakness in his limbs, and everyone else followed.

"Everyone, prepare for launch, NOW!"

"Wait, my foot--"

"I-I think I should go to the medical--"

"I SAID _NOW!"_

Everything after that was a blur. Even after the ship was in the air and rocketing out of Polus's atmosphere, Raphael continued to bark orders, and everyone rushed to comply. As time passed, Seth only felt guiltier and guiltier. It probably _was_ a short. And he'd shouted at Pandora, the only person on this ship besides his brother that had willingly chosen to trust him... he'd even _accused_ her...

He was too much of a coward to break through his delusions, after all. And now everybody was suffering for it -- they were headed home on a false alarm.

He needed to make this right.

At some point, he'd parked himself in the storage room, and as he slowly came back to his surroundings, he realized the person he was looking for was right beside him, ensuring the cargo was secured.

"Raph...?"

Raphael turned to him. At some point, he'd removed his helmet, so Seth was able to see his bright eyes and relieved smile. "Thanks for backing me up, Seth. I don't know if they would have believed me otherwise."

"But, Raph, I think I made a misstake--"

Raphael placed a hand on his shoulder. "No, Seth, you saved all of us. You knew what to look for, you stayed alert."

"I don't think there wass an imposstor. I wass delusional."

"Seth, if you were delusional you'd be panicking about something like the Loch Ness Monster. This was a very real threat, and you caught it. I'm proud of you."

Seth stammered, but the words he needed to say just wouldn't come.

His brother patted his shoulder. "Go rest. You've earned it."

He wandered off, leaving Seth alone with the knot in his stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seth is having a depressive episode and worries that might trigger a psychotic episode. Raphael makes Seth work despite his concerns, and Seth bonds with Purple, AKA Pandora Spinelli. Seth starts experiencing persecutory delusions centered around the impostor, and accuses Pandora of being an impostor. The lights go out, which confirm his suspicions, and he runs for the ship. Once everyone is aboard at Raphael's insistence, the Skeld leaves Polus, and Seth starts to recognize he was being delusional, but it's far too late to correct his mistake.


	4. thicker than water

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise, this fic isn't dead!! We're back babey!!

As everyone gathered around the center table of the cafeteria, the air crackled with tension. Everyone kept glancing sideways at each other, fidgeting around. Unwarranted suspicion made the atmosphere heavy.

Seth wanted to assure them that he was likely mistaken, that there really was just a short in the circuitry, but he wasn't certain. It was entirely possible one of these people here was plotting the death of everyone else.

Raphael cleared his throat, and everyone looked to their captain expectantly. "I'm sure you're wondering why I ordered us to take off," he began.

Where just that morning, there would be a clamor of questions and arguing, the crew only waited in terrified silence.

"I'm under strict orders from MIRA headquarters to bring everyone back home if there's threat of an impostor. Certainly, that seems counterproductive, doesn't it? We're bringing it somewhere it could potentially cause even more trouble."

Raphael shook his head, opening his arms. "You see, I've got a plan. As long as we always stick together in teams of two at the very least, the impostor can't kill anyone without being found out. We bring everyone home, undergo testing, and MIRA can finally get some information on this creature."

That was a decent plan. But... they'd be stuck on this ship for months until they finally returned to headquarters. Not to mention...

"Sir," Orange said hesitantly, "if the impostor is among us, it means that... now it knows your plan."

Raphael tilted his head, and Seth could envision his confident smile. "Well, what's it going to do about it?" he asked, voice light. "If it kills its partner, we know who it is and we can all keep an eye on it."

Lime piped up next. "This still puts all of us at risk, Captain. Even with us keeping an eye on it, it could lash out. It can control the doors, move through the vents... There's no way for us to track it if it decides to hide, or defend ourselves if it attacks."

"Easy. If it resists, we throw it out the airlock." Raphael leaned forward. "It's either cooperate and perhaps be allowed to live by the scientists that hope to study it, or imminent death if it struggles. Understood?"

Seth's mouth felt dry. This... this was horrifying. All of their lives were at risk over this mission. But Raphael seemed confident... was he worrying over nothing? If the creature valued self-preservation, and was intelligent enough to imitate humans, maybe it would listen to reason... and there was always the chance there was no impostor at all.

"Alright, everyone remember the pairs I put them in this morning? Let's go do another once-over and make sure we didn't miss anything."

None of them had had the chance to eat anything yet. Friday was favoring a hurt foot, Pandora kept pressing her hand into her helmet, Lime was fidgeting like mad, White was eerily still, and all of them looked thoroughly exhausted. But no protests came. They simply paired off and filed out until it was him and...

...a potential impostor. 

Seth swallowed as he stared at Pandora. "I... I'm," he began.

She cut him off. "Medical area."

Seth felt his palms begin to sweat as she waited for him to take the lead. If she was infected, she could kill him any second. If she wasn't, she was probably furious with him for accusing her. The last thing he wanted was to be alone with her.

It was a short trip to the medbay. Pandora roughly shouldered past him, making him gasp and stagger. "H-Hey, what--"

With a hiss, she wrenched off her helmet, revealing a grim face with dark, straightened hair. As she set it down on a nearby gurney, Seth flinched. The right side of the helmet was dented.

She stared at the controls for the diagnostic scan for a long moment. Seth was about to ask her if she was all right when she hesitantly began to fiddle with them, before stepping onto the pad. He flinched and shut his eyes as the bright light of the scan flared to life.

By the time he peeked again, Pandora had stepped down from the panel and was staring at the results blankly. Even with her dark skin, her face looked ashen.

"...Purple?"

She flinched. "Oh. Um. It... I hit my... my head. I've got a..."

"Concussion?" Seth filled in automatically. That explained her hesitancy with the controls - her head was probably swimming. "Did you... trip while running after me?"

"Y-Yeah. Uh. I gotta sit down." Pandora closed down the diagnostics and sat heavily upon the gurney she'd discarded her helmet on. She looked exhausted. Forlorn. _Human._

Her dream was to be out there on that planetoid, and he'd shattered it in an instant. 

"I... I need to apologize," he said, after a moment too long. "I shouldn't have accussed you like that, I wass-- I wass frightened and delusional and--"

"Oh, that?" Pandora laughed nervously and waved her hand at him. "Don't worry about it."

"Sso, er... no hard feelingss, then?"

"Already forgotten about it." Pandora shot him a hesitant smile, and he noted a chipped tooth. 

"Sstill, that wass a sseriouss accussation I made againsst you, and... now we're probably not going back."

Her expression sobered. "...you don't think I could convince the captain?" she mumbled.

"I know it wass your dream to be out there, exxploring the final frontier... but there'll be other opportunitiess." Seth sat down on the gurney opposite her.

Pandora gazed at her hands, not answering.

Seth hesitated. Was it too hasty to offer what he had in mind?

"...and, perhapss on thiss return trip... it wouldn't hurt to get to know ssomeone."

Her head snapped up towards him, eyes wide with disbelief. "Wha... huh?"

Seth reached up and removed his helmet, setting it aside before reaching his hand out towards her. "Sseth Wingsstrom. It'ss a pleasure to meet you, Pandora Sspinelli."

Pandora stared at it for a moment.

Had he miscalculated?

Then she placed her hand against his. He gripped it firmly and shook, feeling relief flood through him.

"I promisse I'll try and be a better friend than my firsst impression implied, alright?"

That got a weak laugh from her. "Hard to set the bar much lower than that."

"Do you need a cold pack, Pandora?"

"No, no, I think I just... need to sit down a while." She withdrew her hand, staring up at nothing.

Raph wasn't going to be pleased with their lack of productivity. Surely there was something else to do in here... 

But as he got up to check around, he picked up on voices from the corridor. One was instantly recognizable as his brother's. 

"Why didn't you say anything earlier? It's probably gotten worse!"

"Sorry, sir... you said that taking off was the most important thing..."

"Nonsense! The safety of my crew comes first! Come on, in we go."

Raphael entered the medbay, Friday trailing along behind him looking for all the world like a kicked puppy. Seth could practically see the questioning look Raph gave him, and he fumbled for his helmet to put it back on.

"You two doing alright?" the captain inquired.

"Y-Yess, Captain. Er, mosstly. Pa-- Purple hass a concussion."

Pandora was squinting at Raph, and made no move to put on her own helmet, despite MIRA's rules about being permitted to see each other's faces. She was usually a stickler for following them, more than even Seth or Raphael, so her sudden insubordination was worrying. 

Raphael paid it no mind. "Keep an eye on that, then. How'd that happen?"

She chased him after he accused her of being controlled by a parasite and ran away. Seth didn't want to say that, for fear of her being wrongfully suspected, but it was important to be honest. 

"Tripped in the dark," Pandora responded before he could. "I'll be fine."

"Good, good. Green here tripped, too, and didn't tell me." Raphael turned his gaze to Friday, who made a valiant effort to shrink into herself.

"I-I tried, sir--"

"Sit down and let me take a look."

As Friday perched herself on another gurney, Seth glanced Pandora's way. She looked incredibly uneasy, suspicious even. 

"Everything alright there?"

"Mm," she responded noncommittally.

As Raphael pulled off Friday's boot to inspect her ankle, a thought struck Seth. "Ra-- Ccyan?"

"Yes, Red?"

"How are we going to ssleep? If we all resst at oncce--"

"Shifts. Two of us sleep, two of us stand guard, the other four run maintenance. With the state of this ship, we're going to need to keep a constant eye on it."

That made sense. Seth relaxed. Raphael always thought of everything. "Sso who'ss ressting firsst...?"

"I'll go over the schedule once we reconvene for dinner, alright?"

"Right. Of coursse."

Pandora was putting her helmet on. "Come on, let's get back to work," she said quickly.

Seth squawked. "But you need resst, your concussion--!"

"That's the spirit," Raph said cheerily. "Just don't work yourself too hard."

Seth followed her out of the medbay, bewildered. "Pandora, you shouldn't be walking around with--"

She hunched her shoulders defensively. "I don't like him."

"Wha-- Raph? Pandora, we've jusst had thiss disscussion, he jusst wantss what'ss besst for the crew."

"Sure. That's why he ignored Green's foot, and why he's willing to risk all our necks over the retrieval of an alien creature."

"He wass making sure we took off alright, and he knowss what he'ss doing." Once again, that paranoia was beginning to stab at him. Seth swallowed it down. "I trusst him. I know him."

Pandora faltered, as though about to say something, but then heaved a sigh. "Okay. Okay, what do I know. Alright."

"I'm not trying to--"

"Forget it." She began trudging down the hall. "C'mon, let's... go fix wires, and you can tell me all about him."

As they fiddled with wires in the electrical room, Pandora starting slow but quickly gaining confidence, Seth regaled her with tales of himself and his family. It was nice to have someone to actually talk to, instead of focusing solely on the tasks they'd all been given. It had been lonely. Seth hadn't realized how much he'd been wanting to say something, _anything._

"So your tongue is _forked?"_

"Yeah. The sharp teeth are biological, but that'ss an injury. Doessn't help the way I ssound."

"I think you sound nice," Pandora said, and Seth felt his face heat up in surprise.

"Er, well. Mosst conssider it a nuissancce." Including him, he added silently.

"You get used to it." She paused, staring at the wire currently in her hands. "Uhh..."

Seth leaned over. "Ah, right there," he said, gesturing to an open connector hidden by the messy tangle of circuitry.

"Nice." She plugged it in. "But seriously, why did you put a knife in your mouth?"

"We'd jusst sseen a circuss act on the telly." A wave of bittersweet nostalgia washed over Seth. "There wass a ssword sswallowing act, and Raphael and I wanted to try it. I had to make him sswear up and down not to tell Mam oncce I cut mysself."

"That'd be a lot of blood! How the hell did you manage to hide it from her?"

"Ah, we didn't. She gave me a good chewing out and a cup of icce, didn't want to wasste money on the doctor."

"So it didn't heal right, and now it's forked."

"Got it in one." Seth sighed. "Raph and I got into all ssortss of trouble like that when we were little, but then Mam sstarted having me sstay insside to look after our ssiblingss."

"You shouldn't have been a dad to your own siblings," Pandora pointed out.

"Wassn't like I had anything better to do. Being unssupervissed led to thingss like falling out of treess." Seth shuddered. 

"Still, between that and school and church, it sounds like you barely had any time for yourself. Wasn't there anything you did for yourself?"

Seth had to rack his brain. "There wass... there wass a game I liked. I had to borrow Casstiel'ss old ssysstem to play it, and I kept lossing the cartridge... whenever it turned up, it turned out I'd losst all my data and had to sstart over. I could probably reccite the firsst epissode by heart now." He chuckled, then sighed. "You know, I wanted to purssue a career like the main character for a while, but then Raphael joined MIRA and wanted me to come with him."

"...you didn't want to be an astronaut?"

"Not at firsst." Seth shook his head. "But it keepss me bussy, and I'm alwayss glad to lend my brother a hand. He wass so exxcited to be able to lead thiss mission."

Pandora didn't respond for a moment. Then, she said, "these look pretty done to me. You want to go back to the cafeteria?"

"Workss for me."

The rule about helmets was that they were to be worn unless strictly necessary. The crew of the Skeld, by and large, tended to bend these rules, but everyone was under unanimous agreement that mealtimes were necessary for removal. Seth had a habit of keeping his head down when he was eating, and only caught glimpses of the visages of his crewmates every so often. Today was no different.

At least, it was no different until Pandora beside him mumbled, "they're so quiet."

Seth paused midway through his granola bar. Come to think of it, mealtime usually was filled with chatter, despite MIRA and their captain frowning upon too much socialization. But right now, everyone was tense and silent, the only sounds the crinkling of food packets.

He lifted his head to look around. Everyone was sitting as far apart from one another as possible, save him, Pandora, and Raphael, who were both practically elbow to elbow with him. Even Lime and Orange, normally together whenever possible, sat a table away from each other. Every so often, someone would glance up and gaze around, tense and shaky. 

Paranoid, the lot of them. They thought one of them couldn't be trusted.

Once again, Seth wondered if it was wise to be getting so close to Pandora. But she knew how to use the medbay, and how to connect wires. Impostors didn't know how to perform maintenance, and doing so would be counterproductive to their goals. She was safe.

Raphael was safe, too. He was acting the same as ever, and was even the one to come up with the plan to stop the impostor, should it lash out. But everyone else... could he trust any of them?

Two tables over, Friday tensed up, clapping a hand to her nose and mouth. Seth felt himself go rigid, and Orange got halfway out of its seat. What was she--?

A loud sneeze erupted from her, and Pink fell right off its bench in surprise. 

"Sorry! Sorry!"

Lime began to snort, and Pink picked itself up with a chuckle. Friday's face went a blotchy scarlet, and she adjusted her glasses with an awkward little groan. 

Everyone returned to their food, but the atmosphere felt... defused, somehow. Yes, everyone was still separated and silent, but the sheer reminder that they were only human seemed to relax them all some.

As thankful as Seth was for it, part of him wondered how long that would last. They had a long few months ahead of them, and by that point, something as small as a sneeze could be taken as damning.


End file.
